smack.

so i dont really feel like talking about it because it makes me kinda upset. but as of right now im not going back to liberty next year. my family cant afford it. so i think im just going to work for a while. then hopefully i can go back. im not even so sure if im going to do the whole community college thing...well see. but yea. im really going to miss liberty, and im not even sure right now how im going to be paying for next semester...oh man...all i can do is keep praying about it and looking for oppurtunity. i write more later about everything. i cant write anymroe right now...

its true...in Him all things are possible!!!!!!

whoa. its gonna be an interesting week...

ill be back later. : ) hah

helpful tears

I guess i would be the first to admit that it does feel good to cry about things. to let things out. I mean Ive come to realize the power of just open conversation with God. Not that i havent done it in the past, becasue believe me its become a huge part of my life. but actually finding a spot for myself and talking out loud to Him. Its more of a real conversation for me. I havent had the best week. I try way to hard to handle things on my own, and i come to complete frustration because I realize that im trying to do things on my own and then change things for a while and let God have control anad focus more on Him....but then i do it again. I try to take my problems into my own hands...and that would be why i just end up crying before God.and while the tears fall down my face, and i sit in awe of my Lord and his power, i ask for happiness. its alot to ask...and its what i want. and i cant achieve it on my own. Gods catching my attention for some reason and im will to work with my trials to grow in Him. Sometimes Im just so dumb. I have these days where i just think about everything thats happened in the last month or so, and it kills me. I drove back to school the other day...a six hour drive, by myself. all i ended up doing was thinking about stuff that ive been trying to move on from. its like im cursed with this never ending cycle or something. Well i had my share of crying tonight. If God werent so merciful, and forgiving...i dont know where the heck i would be. most likely very depressed. But im not. and thats only because I have a God who does care for me, and wants to help me. I do end up trying handle my problems on my own sometimes but no matter how hard I try...it wont work.
thats why God is there, cause im not supposed to do it on my own. its been rough. and some days are worse than others. but with Him, all things are possible.

joshua 1:9

so this is pretty much what ive been running through my mind all day.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

well maybe not exactly the only thing in my head...but its there. and i keep putting it back. theres so much going on right now in my head...im not sure. thanks to God for his grace and provision. i dont feel like writing what im feeling or thinking for once...i just cant. maybe another time.

pushing aside

soo...haha yea i start out with "so..." alot. but its because im thinking...ANYWAY. Ive written before about hiding my feelings. feelings meaning when im upset about something. how its just really easy fo rme to just push them down inside and get them out of my way. i sure as heck dont like feeling upset, or...yea pretty much anything but happy. the fact that its easy to push things aside isnt a good thing. In james it talks about the tirals we go thourgh in life, and how they are there to strengthen our relationship with God. they are there to help us learn. so when i push stuff away and just put up a mask because i don tlike the feeling...am i also pushing away a chance to grow closer to God? or somehting that will help me learn? I already know i cant do anything with out God help, but why am i selfish still by trying to hide my problems. and i realize taht i might sound like depressed and what not...but im not. dont get me wrong, because i stinkin love my life. but i think sometimes i feel like i can direct it. i can make it all good, and i can make it as perfect as i want it to be. hah...yea well im wrong. God ALWAYS has something else in mind. Hallelujah. : )

thinking about life

its another late night...again. my sleep has been messed up since the third week of school. im lucky if i get to bed before 2 everynight. i hate sittin gat my computer, and i definatly cant work on school work this late, so most of the time i just lay up on my bed. thinking to myself. about who knows what. so ive been thinking about life. how i live everyday. i should be out to please God everyday and unfortuanatly im not always. I wish i could tell you that being a Christian was easy, because that would just be way more appealing to everyone. but its not. its tough. really tough. its constantly challenging. its frustrating. but you know what the awesome thing is? its hard to be a Christian because we need those tough circumstances in our lives to grow in our relationship with God. God can show us soo much. He can use us ini ways that we never thought were possible. God puts crap in our lives for a purpose. and even though its hard, we need to take the tough stuff and learn what we can, thank God for whats happening, and apply what we learned to our everyday.We need to live like theres no tomorrow, like Jesus could return at anytime. i know that i dont always live like that. Its hard. but the challenge is worth taking. if someone asked me right now how i honestly lived this week. I couldnt say that i lived for God everyday. Thats my goal. to live in the constant mindset that I could be going to heaven at anytime, becaus ei think i get so wrapped up in my circumstances that i get selfish and only think about how my day was for me. and not about how my day reflected upon God.

in awe.

God is good all the time.
All the time...God is good.

"You have been my refuge, a strong tower against my foe." Psalm 61:3

this week was a tough one. not because of school work[even though i wish that was the reason], but because of some other issues...blech. but God just keeps providing more learning expierences in my life, and even though it was such a rough week for me...the best thing i learned was just to always be thinking God for what he is doing in you life. Whether it be good or bad. it completely changed my negative view on alot of things. praising God in the midst of our little "storms" in life creates a challenge, because its extremely hard to do. but in the end its worth it.and i can vouch for that. God is...God. Hes the most powerful. and i am me. puny. little. with a torn heart...full of sin.
wow...why does God care about me? its simple. He loves me. and he wants my full attention. when im not giving it back to him...that may be the reason for some of the pot holes in my life. Just because he wants it. He wants to develop a closer relationship with me. heh...yea thats what i want too, but becasue of sin its easy to be distracted. i just need to stop with all my excuses...my relationship with God and how its going...relys on no one, but me.

i am always in awe of my AWESOME GOD.

reflections

i was planning on wirting some other stuff in here tonight. but a bunch of things have happened and have over turned my weekend. ash was supposed to come and now she cant anymore...and yea its just all kinda a big disappointment. so on top of it i have a tissue test in anatony tomorrow. blech. heh it was soo easy to be upset and angry about ashley not being able to come...but you know...i didnt have to take it to the extreme i did. ive had some other stuff built up inside of me since the beginning of school and ive just been pushing it all down out of my way so i didnt have to think about anything. i guess tonight kinda set it out again. im not afraid to admit that i was on the edge of crying tonight, there are conflict going on around me and it just breaks me to see that. i dont want things to be rough, confusing, complicated...etc etc etc. you get the point. sometimes i guess its just good to cry and let it out. but then again thats why i was pushing the old problems away caus eit was just making me upset in the first place. why am i having so much trouble? heh as i think about all of this, my so-called problems, it hit me. i was much much much less severe problems then alot of people have in their lives. and i cant even work through them. ive neglected God. and again i have fallen back into my sin. im here again. broken about things in my life. God sees everything thats going on, everything that im hiding. im slowly emptying out...and no one knows but me. I dont know why i try to hide things...it cant be done. i make some pretty big messes sometimes. but God still loves me. He doesnt care about all my problems, all He wants to do is be there for me, comfort me, help me...He wants my trust. no the half hearted trust that ive given Him, but my complete trust. Hes the only one that sees the real erin murphy. and when im about to let go, Hes the one who is still holding tightly to my hand. im just in awe of my Lord. just sitting here with tears of frustration[from my puny life]....i dont even know what else to say. He can do so much for me. why havent i taken full advantage of that?!? Lord I want to completely give everything to you, i dont want to try to do things by myself anymore. Help me to remember that you right there. You want to help. and your always listening. its hard because God isnt someone you can look at when your sharing your emotions...but it has to be gotten used to. God showed so much interest in me by sending His only son to die so i could go to heaven. He deserves nothing but all of my interest in return.

joshua 1:9 "Have i not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

isaiah 41:13 "For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

lessons

so its really awesome how God just teaches you a lesson.

ive been learning sooo much recently. I keep asking God to teach me more, and point things out to me...im really longing to be stopped in my tracks sometimes and slapped in the face if i need to be. in the end, I realize what ive done wrong, etc. and it helps...shows me if i was stupid or just plain out sinning. its tough sometimes but its definatly worth it. I really get hit hard sometimes, and i just collapse, but God is always there to keep me going. its awesome. thats it.


"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression?"-Micah 7:18

"Look to the Lord and His strength; seek his face always"- Psalm 105:4

"You have been my refuge, a strong tower against my foe."- Psalm 61:3

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong." -1 Cor. 16:13

humility

humility.

this week in prayer groups we made bracelets for each charateristic in colossians 3:12. each week each of the six of us will have one of the bracelets on, that are each distinctly colored for the characteristic that they represent. Well I have the blue one, which happens to be humility. I was thinking about it tonight when i was reading so i looked it up (one of the awesome advantages of having an application bible). well one verse that really stuck out to me was Romans 12:3 which says:

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you."

ok so stepping back for a minute...this is Paul speaking in this chapter and basically giving guidelines for living as a redeemed Christian in the world around us. ok so back to humility. basically having a good self-esteem isnt bad. sometimes its easy to get caught up with thinking to little of myself...but i have to be careful not to think to highly of myself as well. without God...theres a while lot that i couldnt do. even something stupid like scoring a goal in soccer...yea i can be proud of my self...but if i over do it...heh yea God could easily say.."your not scoring another one the whole season...cause you made it all about yourself."...yea, ouch. BUT heres the catch with God, we can do sooo much. He is the ultimate relationship i can have. He provides everything for me!!! soo when i really think about it, why do i get caught up in measuring myself to how good i can be, or how much i can gain for myself in life for the world and for my pride. its pointless...and not very humble. really... im nothing without God. Hes the only reason i get up everyday...and to think that i can think of myself as more worthy as someone else...its a little rediculous. ill say it again...Im nothing without God, not an athlete, not musical, not healthy, not even living. wow...so i need to work on being more humble.

the weekend:

so...it was a good weekend. got home on friday night...slept, went to katies soccer game on saturday...that was fun! then satuday night i went out to dinner with my little brother because it was his birthday, and then afterwards i had ash, josh, phil, kier, sam, alex, brie, and my sister all over and we just hung out and made smores in my backyard...it was goodtimes! hah it made my day so much better! Iris slept over that night and of course we both shared my bed. lol...me, iris, and my big teddy bear(which she ended up throwing on the ground). I really love the fact that i got some home cooked meals! oh man they tasted soo good!!!

i was reading Proverbs 10 tonight...in the first couple verses it talks about how we use our time. my life app. Bible talks about how "everyone has 24 hours filled with oppurtunities to grow serve and be productive. But its soo easy to waste time, letting life slip from our grasp. We need to refuse to be a lazy peson, sleeping or wasting away our hours meant for productive work. we have to see time as God's gift and seize our oppurtunities to live diligently for him."...yea i thought that was worht sharing. the reality is that i do waste my time alot...if im tired, or i just want to sleep to get away from things...yea that time should be used for God...and i havent been using it that way. Proverbs 10 was really encouraging to me..i know that i can do it...But first i need to give the effort.

home...sweet home.

Well …yea today was a nice day…I had class and then I came home! I had really started to miss my dad a lot…so I’m glad I got to see him. I really got bored while I was on my way home cause I was just sitting there listening to music, looking out the window at the moon(which by the way was extremely beautiful!) and all I did was start to think about stuff that’s been going on again. Ugh it’s like I have to constantly be doing stuff to keep my mind off of things that bother me. It help to just sit there and talk to God about it though, it really helps clear my mind a little. Today I just had a weak stomach all day long. It wouldn’t go away. But yea…ill be really busy this weekend so I’m not worried about thinking about anything. Tomorrow I should be going to my sister’s soccer game…I really wanted to because it’s the only time ill get to see her play. And tomorrow is my little brother’s birthday, so I think I might take him out for dinner. That would defiantly be a lot of fun. Sunday after church I’m probably going out to lunch with my dad before I come back to school! I have to say…I defiantly miss the Virginia sky and laying out under it every night…a lot. It’s so beautiful at night…and you can see the stars so much better.

Home is good. Family is great. Im happy I get to see them and I made it safely here. Sunday I come back…but until then…home cooked meals, and my bed!

"Do not worry about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7

whoa...

today...was a slow day. had my first soccer game after classes and the other team didnt all show, so we just mixed and scrimmaged, but it felt really good to play again. then tonight...was the last night of spiritual emphasis week. i cant even say how much i learned the past few days.
God... is really awesome. I dont even know what else to say. thourgh the stories that our speaker, clayton king, told us...its just amazing testimony of how God works, everyday, in ways that you would never even guess. God is just really the most phenominal thing that could ever happen to anyone...thats it. im so excited for tomorrow!!! another day, a new beginning, a whole new expierence!

colossians 3

in devos tonight I read this...we actually are also using verse 12 as our theme verse for PG =)

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14

this was pauls strategy for us to live for God everyday...yea its hard. compassion, humility, gentleness, and patience. as school get more involved...thses things will be harder to follow. I might get impatient with a teacher, classmate, or hall mate for something stupid. i might be so concentrated on school and what going on in my life...that i might not take the time to smile at the person walking by me on the way to class. these little things...can evolve into big things. I need to work on these things, and toward having peace in God everyday...just taking it a day at a time.


im going home this weekend. i was walking back from class today and listening to a voicemail from my dad. I really miss him alot. i never thought i would say that i missed my parents, but i really do miss my dad...im really going to miss watching football with him on sundays and monday nights =(...anyway its really late right now and i cant sleep. which isnt good cause then ill be extremely tired for classes tomorrow...oh well. I finally have my first soccer game tomorrow. I ended up on the free agents team with sarah=) hopefully we have some good people though...im a little worried cause its free agents. eh oh well ill have fun with it no matter what! i should probably get some sleep. ill read till i fall asleep...it usually works.

this song is supposed to be God, talking to me, or you...the first time i heard it i cried..heh i know it sounds silly, but it really just depicts how caring our Lord is. its awesome. i wish you could listen to it as well, look it up if you can! i just really wanted to share it. thats it for now =)

You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight
Come away with me, my love

Under my mercy, come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you, my child

You're beautiful to me
So beautiful to me

I sing over you my song of peace
Cast all your cares down at my feet
Come and find your rest in me

I'll breathe my life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of my strength

I'll take you to my quiet waters
I'll restore you soul
Come rest in me and be made whole

You're my beloved, you're my bride
To sing over you is my delight

Come away with me, my love
Come away with me, my love

"My beloved" by kari jobe

God's plan...just for me.

Its really neat. Sometimes im not sure what to do about things, and im not sure what i want, how i want things, or whats going to happen to me. the worse has to be when im not sure what i want. but...whether or not i do know, or if im confused, i can always rest on the fact that God knows where i will end up. how awesome is that? I dont know A LOT. but i have a God who knows everything. ive really had a feel for doing missions recently. im scared about it. ive never thought that i would ever do something like that. I mean it not like i dont doing that stuff, because the missions trips that ive been on in the past were probably my most memorable expierences. but go overseas? risk my life? be uncomfortable with the people around me, the culture, and whats happening? thats scary. but if its what God wants for me...
ive only shared this with a few people that im really close with. its something ive been praying about. and i get frustrated because i dont know what i want. but i really just want to be able to share with those who dont know God, i want them to be able to feel what its like to have a personal relationship with our Heavenly Father. Any believer would agree that its the most amazing expierence! why not share it?
so heres my thinking. im getting frustrated or confused because im not sure sometimes about what i want. so...so what? thats completely fine. im not always going to know. BUT i can use my frustration or confusion, and thank God for it. Hes making me think about things in life that are important. And through all of it im only growing closer to him.

worrying

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace." Phil. 4:6-7

it would be really awesome if i never was anxious about anything... it seems like it would be impossible since I worry about school, getting a job, drama... ugh, and etc. But Pauls advice here is pretty clear.i should be turning my worries... into prayers. I sure want to worry less, so this means i need to pray more. ummm...yea. If im talking to God about everything Im going through, and i know that he knows exactly whats happening, how i feel, whether i am right or wrong in the situation, what the outcome will be...EVERYTHING! heh...its awesome, because whenever i start to worry about things i can just stop for a minute, and just talk to God about whats happening. He knows. He will always know. and even though i cant hear Him talk back to me or anything, I do feel a little more "peaceful" about things.

stars

tonight...i was out on the soccer field like i usually am everynight, and i just layed down and looked up at the stars. its so neat to know that God put each and everyone of them, in the spot they are. he picked where he wanted them to go. THERE ARE SOO MANY! its amazing...and the different thing you can see in the stars, like the big dipper(which i saw the other night as well and it was by far the biggest ive ever seen it!) and the little dipper, the north star, etc. and the stars are just a tiny testimony of how awsome our God really is.

genesis 1:16b "...He also made the stars."

daniel 12:3 "those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever."

2 peter 1:19 " And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts."

God's love

so...my first priority should be to love God. something sooo simple, but for some reason easy to get off track of. i get off track becaus ei become wrapped up in what is happening to me everyday. the different trials that i go through. i let those things push God away just enough so He may not be the center of my life. i could also be focusing on the things of God, like prayer or bible study, and not be focused on God Himself. My love for God is only in response in His unfailing love for me. its not something i make, or read about. its just there. If I thought that God was there, but didnt love me, he just created me and said "now go on and have fun with life"...i wouldnt pay much attention to Him. BUT He give me attention. He helps me when i need help, Hes always there to talk to, He forgives me when i do something wrong. He is the lover of my soul, and everyone elses. He pursues me everyday, and is just aching to convince me of His wonderful love. He gave His life....for me. He definatly didnt have to, he could have just said "forget it. your not worth forgiving.its way to much trouble for me to do that."...but He didnt. He chose to make the sacrifice. thats how much He loves me. so how do i repay Him? i love Him back, i do what i can to have the intimate relationship with Him that He strives for and that i long for. i need to be honest with myself, and break down sometimes. i need to push aside my pride. heh...easier said then done. Its amazing. God loves me so much, He is reaching out to me everyday...even if i do push Him away a little, Hes still right there, waiting for me to run back into His arms.

Lord i come to You,
let my heart be changed, renewed
flowing from the grace,
that i find in You.

Lord ive come to know,
the weaknesses You see in me,
will be stripped away,
by the power of Your love.

Hold me close,
let Your arm surround me.
bring me near,
draw me to Your side.
and as i wait,
ill rise up like the eagle.
and i will soar with You,
Your spirit leads me on,
by the power of Your love.

im not alright

If weakness is a wound
That no one wants to speak of
Then “cool” is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune
I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess

I’m not alright
I’m broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I’m open wide
With nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on
Cause honestly, I’m not that strong

I’m not alright
I’m broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you

And I move, and I move, and I move...closer to you
And I move, and I move, and I move...closer to you
And I move, and I move, and I move...closer to you
And I move, and I move, and I move...

I’m not alright
I’m broken inside, broken inside
broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
Leads me to you, leads me to you

I’m not alright, I’m not alright, I’m not alright...that’s why I need you


i was at the sanctus real concert last night on campus for our LU block party, and they played this song. I love it, its something that i can really relate to right now in life...with drama and such--blech. it so easily describes what happens when your in a rut, or when you just say "ill be fine". well i have to let God have control of things. i have to let go of what im holding onto in my life that could just be something to stumble on. And for me that can be really hard, because i dont like to leave things unsettled. sometimes im going to have to. i have to admit that im not alright, i need to lose the pride that i have built up, and i cant just try to work through everything myself and just say ill be fine. I do need God, i cant do anything on my own.

doubting thomas

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
Cause I don't know what's safe
Oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
You've always kept me safe
Oh me of little faith



oh me of little faith...yea thats me alot. its easy to question everthing, but then again wouldnt it be easier to jus let things the way they are?....heh no cause that would make me uncomfrotable. so to keep my comfartablility, i would have to stay in my own buble of friends, family, activities, etc. thats just selfish. what about all of the people out there who dont even know who God is? I know God, and i want everyone to be able to expierence the relationship with him that i have expierenced so far in my life. It hurts to think about how many friends, or aquaintances that i pretty much just let out of my life, with out really reaching out to them. ill never for get what a speaker said at a conference i was at one summer "I dont want to go to heaven and see a coworker standing before God, and looking at me with that look on his face saying 'why didnt you tell me?' "..when i heard that story, everything clicked. i dont want to be sitting around, doing nothing for God. I want to be able to share about im with others. let them know about my personal relaitonship with our Father, and what its feels like to be apart of this big loving family. like the song says, "sometimes i pray for a slap in the face, but then i beg to be spared because im a coward.." i dont want to be spared this time. ive taken the slap in the face...and i want to work toward not being a coward.

the challenge of sin

as frosh seminar wraps up...i cant wait for real college to start up. i know that might sound wierd, but its true, right now i just kinda feel like im on a retreat, cause theres all these freshman activities, not that i dont like them, cause i definatly do, but i need the reality of it all.

what would we be with out sin? i know its a big question...but seriously, would we even be around? or would it just still be adam and eve? apparently life in the garden of eden was pretty much like heaven according to the bible. everything was just snazzy, but then of course Adam and Eve chose to disobey God, even though they knew what was right from wrong. After their disobedience, it was like they no longer deserved the paradise they lived in because God kicked them right out. Our God is a serious God, Hes not going to take any crap from anyone. What God says goes. and just like He says in John 14:15, "If you love me then you will obey what I command"...heh...wow. im gonna stop for a second. If i love God i will keep his commands? but thats hard. sometimes so hard that the much easier thing to do would be my way of things. BUT HOLD ON. Thats NOT what God wants. and what God says goes....remember? its hard...really hard, and anyone could vouch for that. but its worth it. its worth sacrificing things im used to, and things im comfortable with. yea its gonna be tough, and im definatly going to make mistakes... but to have that relationship with God, I think ill manage.

my help

"My help comes frm the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121:2

I love verses like this. the just on statement, but the have so much meaning to them. when im sad or just unhappy about something, my help comes from the Lord. when i feel alone and have no where to turn, my help comes from the Lord. basically everything that come my way in life, Hes there to help me through it. God has so much power...its just amazing. I mean its just so awesome to have a father(obviously not earthly) that knows what will happen to me tomorrow, when the flowers will bloom, how many hairs are on my head, when each leaf will fall out of what tree in the fall, how many times the waves crash onto the sand down the shore...and the list could seriously go on forvever. I love that He knows what im thinking. when i know that no one esle understands, or would even want to listen to what i have to say, i know that God knows whats going on. And if its a trial in my life, Ill just get closer to Him. I dont know what i would have done without God in the last couple years and i always question why things happen to me, but ive learned to much and grown spiritually. My help comes from the Lord.

College. its scary...walking into a new place...on your own...completely nervous, and wondering why you even came. I think back to when i was sooo excited about going. When i got here...its almost like i could have just chickened out and gone home. but i ddnt. now Im here and im soo glad i am! im officially on my own now. Im really excited to see what God has instore for me this year!

"Then I acknowledge my sin to You...and You forgave the guilt of my sin." -Ps. 32:5
it says in my bible under that verse..." Wht is confession? To confess our sin is to agree with God, acknowledging that He is right to declare what we have done as sinful, and that we are wrong to desire, or do it. It means affirming our intention of abandoning that sin in order to follow God more faithfully."
so can i do it? when i do something wrong, ask forgiveness and do it again...then i wasnt sincere the first time. I can do it. I have to leave the sin behind me. I need to focus on what i can do, to be closer with God.

soo...its been a short week unfortunatly. i leave tomorrow morning for school. im nervous but also extremely excited like i said before. im going to miss everyone im leaving behind soooo much=( highschool holds so many events that took place in my life. from being a freshman, not interested in God that much, to a graduating senior, who is willing to do anything for God. its amaxing to look back and see just how much ive changed in four years. and even how my whole class developed, into more mature college freshman. and theres still more to come! im so excited for the life taht God has planned out for me! it will be amazing how much i learn...sometimes im taking so much in at one time...i just have to sit back, take a deep breath, and thank God for his work in my life!

"If you truly embrace the holiness of God and ove and delight in the majesty of God, you will be unwilling and unable NOT to change."

im new here

so yea im not gonna right very much in here...but this is just a blog...from a site that no one i know has. so im not really follwing people into myspace or anything...just venturing off on my own=) college starts next sunday for me...im nervous but extremely excited! but this is all i have time for right now...hopefully ill be keeping this posted once im all set at school. so im not sure if ill be writing in between now and then.