thinking about life

its another late night...again. my sleep has been messed up since the third week of school. im lucky if i get to bed before 2 everynight. i hate sittin gat my computer, and i definatly cant work on school work this late, so most of the time i just lay up on my bed. thinking to myself. about who knows what. so ive been thinking about life. how i live everyday. i should be out to please God everyday and unfortuanatly im not always. I wish i could tell you that being a Christian was easy, because that would just be way more appealing to everyone. but its not. its tough. really tough. its constantly challenging. its frustrating. but you know what the awesome thing is? its hard to be a Christian because we need those tough circumstances in our lives to grow in our relationship with God. God can show us soo much. He can use us ini ways that we never thought were possible. God puts crap in our lives for a purpose. and even though its hard, we need to take the tough stuff and learn what we can, thank God for whats happening, and apply what we learned to our everyday.We need to live like theres no tomorrow, like Jesus could return at anytime. i know that i dont always live like that. Its hard. but the challenge is worth taking. if someone asked me right now how i honestly lived this week. I couldnt say that i lived for God everyday. Thats my goal. to live in the constant mindset that I could be going to heaven at anytime, becaus ei think i get so wrapped up in my circumstances that i get selfish and only think about how my day was for me. and not about how my day reflected upon God.