for a friend..

recently a friend of mine was going through a really rough time. i dont know the details but as a friend i was asked to write a note of encouragement:

My dear friend,

First off, your not alone!! Whether or not the people around you know what your going through, or can even relate though what your going through, there will always be someone who will pray for/with you. No matter what God always knows what your going through (Heb. 4:13). Its NOT helpless. You deserve God's love (Psalm 25:3). It's easy to feel lost sometimes but just remember to look to His word for guidance, He is the one to look to when you need strength (Ps.27:1). Your family, friends, and church family all love you very much! There may be some times where you want to question God because you are confused, lost, distressed, overwhelmed...whatever you may be feeling, take a deep breath and just trust in God. He loves you so much, and knows whats going on. It may be hard to accept things that cannot be changed, but you get a fresh start every day! We all love you so much!

-Erin (Isaiah 41:10)

the reason im sharing this is because its not only a note to a friend, but also can be for myself. there are so many times when i need to just sit back and trust in God rather than be stressed, overwhelmed, or freaking out because i dont know what to do next. my grandmom has this quote on her wall at home, and its something that now constantly runs though my mind:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things that I can change,
and wisdom to know the difference."

...

time to get my priorities straight and stop being distracted...time to make an effort. God help me want to be closer to you. this constant battle has become extremely heavy on my heart.


I have got no one to blame
Except if that someone's me
I washed my hands, but just the same
My eyes confess for me
I come in filthy rags
You know I'm guilty

I wake up almost every night
Saying Your name
What I would give to walk in the light
But what I hide has made me lame
My face down on the ground
I wait to hear the healing sound

You break through my deafness
Swing open the curtain
And I find the courage to get up and walk
I forget my weakness
For You've answered my loneliness
And through the mud on my eyes
I can see my Hope has come

You'll have to show me where to go
It's been so long since I've used my feet
I got up today a cripple
And now I'm dancing
So let the power of Your move
Not stop with what I can see

I couldn't walk
I couldn't sing
I couldn't love until You found me

being content.

im working on it.
im having a hard time right now though.
im stressed...and i dont normally get too stressed.
theres alot going on.

BUT heres the deal. its the whole "the more you seek God, the more youll find him".
God puts us through trials, big or small, so that we will grow more in him. So that we can learn from them. About ourselves, but also more about God.

its ironically a really cool thing.




Colossians 3:14-17 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

sleepless...

its just one of those nights...

i have alot on my mind. more than usual.

i cant sleep...so im here.

i cant come to terms with whats happening with my family right now. my grandpa, whom ive written about before, is just slowly slipping away. yesterday my cousin was in a really bad car accident in which his head went through the windshield. after more than 3 hours of surgery they still arent going to know whether or not he will be losing one of his eyes because there is still glass in it, and both of his eyes are swollen shut, not to mention the continual draining of his back to prevent meningitis, a bruised brain and other complications that he has right now as well. i could list everything...but thats not the point.

i really admire my aunt. she has taken on taking care of my grandpa. she has alot going on in her own personal life that it completely putting huge strain on her everyday. and now her son is in the trauma unit, sedated, with alot of unanswered questions about his recovery. my aunt is a strong woman. she looks to God in the middle of this crazy storm. she keeps moving when its really easy to just break down.

besides the things that are happening in my family i also have my own things happening. changes in my own life...and some personal things that iv been thinking about.

wheres God? He's right here.even when i dont feel like he is.even when im ready to give up, im reminded that hes not giving up on me. my brain is full like an overpacked suitcase. im having trouble gathering my thoughts, ,and you know what...iv been pushing the things that are affecting me aside.

i need to learn to deal with things. and NOT by myself. i have a relationship with God, and i need God to deal with the things in my life. hes the one who has plans for me. he knows why things happen to me. its as simple as trusting in him. so am i having trouble trusting? heh...yea...sometimes i do. because i dont understand.

i need to get over that.

i need to work on some things...but im ready to. and i DO trust that God has it all under control, and that everything i go through, or my family goes through, or a friend goes through...whoever it is, God cares.

psalm 17:7-8
...Lord God, show the wonder of Your great love, You who save by Your right hand those who take refuge in You from their foes. Keep me as the apple of Your eye; hide me in the shadow of Your wings.

Spiritually Mature Christian

These could be looked at as five indicators of a spiritually mature Christian.

Meekness. As a christian we should know our position. In our conversations, in our beliefs etc.

Gentleness. We need to be approachable.No one will want to talk to us, or be curious about what we believe in if we are very defensive to the point where we give others no room to breathe. We need to be someone that is easy to talk to, someone that will listen to others and not be too quick to speak.

Patience. This is one that i struggle with a lot in my walk with the Lord. I need to constantly remind myself to just have faith...to just really truely believe that everything is in God's hands; He is in control. Patience can be a peace that will control your attitude. Also our attitude and caracter should not be controlled by our circumstances.

Humility. I think about myself a lot(like how things will effect me, or how I and going to handle things-meaning Itry to do things without Gods help sometimes)...not purposely, but it just seems to happen. and when i actually do something right, or i achieve something, or am rewarded for something...i need to be careful in my reaction...am i being too prideful?

Discernment. need to make good judgements or decisions about what we do, say, etc. EVERYDAY ALL THE TIME. Im guilty of making decisions, or saying things without giving them much thought.


This is taken from a message that i heard a while ago...but ive really thought about things that i could maybe focus on, things that are weak areas in my maturity as a christian. Should also be thinking about how i can become a more spiritually mature...how I can be more Christ-like. I cant wait for things to just happen to me though...i have to staop waiting around and get going.





Prayer: My grandpa is still in the ICU...he just hasnt been improving. Pray for his health and more importantly his salvation. and also school is going to be alot of work with a full load of credits and being a prayer leader, its going to be a lot of responsibility. Pray that im a good influence to the girls in my prayer group, and that they would be open with me, also that i will balance my time in a good way.

quick thought

Another night at work for me, its almost 5am and I kinda bored so i figured i would post something short.

Ive really been thinking lately how selfish i can be. I know im not an entirely obviously selfish person, but i mean with the little things in life like putting others first, with the time i have to myself everyday and how i use it, in how i act at work or towards work...etc. something i definitely need to work on and would encourage others to work on too. i know one of my biggest struggles is whether or not im really spending enough time just with God each day. and there are definitely times where i dont think about others first. im sitting here laughing right now because it can easily be something like a little road rage i might get in traffic. anyway, its just a thought.

and...heres to the start of a new week! two weeks till im back in the burg, how stinkin exciting!!!

Prayer request: my grandpa, whom i posted about in an earlier post, is in the hospital again. Please pray for him in his health and his salvation.

testimony

this is kinda out of inspiration of a friends blog, in which she included her testimony. i realized ive never written it out, so here it is:

I was blessed to grow up in a christian home, although i took advantage of it. at four years old, in a childrens program during the night service at church we were given the oppurtunity to talk to a leader about salvation. i didnt have a full understanding of what it meant, but i knew if i didnt not ask God for forgiveness that i wouldn't be going to heaven. i have a distinct memory of going through the "salvation prayer" with the class leader, and excitedly telling my parents that i was saved when they came to pick me up. I never gave much attention to church as more than just going because my family always went, or because i had to.

In third grade i learned about baptism and what it meant and it sparked an interest. i did realize that it was something that i wanted to, and that it was important to become a member of the church. so, in third grade i went through membership classes, and was baptized on easter sunday.

in the continuing years i lost interest in church. i never felt like going, and i got into some of the wrong things. I didnt like my parents because i thought they were over the line strict, and as i look back now, i really was mostly miserable unless i go my way or was with my friends away from my family.

in 9th grade i transferred to baptist high school...little did i know that it would make a difference in the next four years of my life. during freshman year, my outlook on church, etc. did not change much. The summer after 9th grade i went to TLC (teen leadership conference) at baptist bile college, and really got smacked in the face. It really hit me that i had not been living the way i should be. even though i was a christian, in a christian family, and in a christian school, i wasnt acting like it. It says in the bible that youll know a chritian by their fruits..meaning how they act. well no one probably would have guessed that i was any different. as i was ilstening to the different speakers that week at TLC, i really took into consideration that i needed to make some changes. I decided to start acting different, to make an attitude change, and really live for Christ. I made the commitment to try and turn things around.

It didnt happen all at once..thats for sure. sophmore year i took more advantage of the fact that we prayed in class, and even had devotions in some, before class even started. I realized that i had more interest in learning about what exactly i believed in. over the next three years i really took in as much as i could, whether it be from missions trips i went on, conferences i went to, or even in class at school.

I look back now and really see how much i changed things, but then i see how much i am still learning, about my personal reltaionship with God and how incredibly important that is in my life, and how i need to be open to whatever God has planned for me. I still stumble and struggle everyday, but its a learning expierence! I feel like im always learning more, and having more of a desire to strengthen my relaitonship with God. Its definitely worth it! I have a desire to honor God and really completely live my life for Him. and it can be frustrating at times when things get confusing and i dont have answers for things, but really...its all in Gods hands!

this is really not the most detailed testimony, but its a good overview. so i just need to say one more thing, ill NEVER loose my love for learning more...

heh well its late, annnd i dont have much to say at the moment. but heres something ive been thinking about...

i stumble everyday as a christian. i learn through making right and wrong choices. i find it alot easier to just put myself down when i make a mistake but when i do make a mistake its up to me what im going to do with it. im the one who has to change things in my own life, not the people around me, or shoudl i say the world around me. learning through mistakes has been challengig..but heres the awesome thing; God never puts anything in fornt of me that i cant handle. when i say "i cant handle" its important to remember that its not and should not just be me handling things. thats part of being able to have a relationship with God. God should be involved in every thing i do everyday...and unfortuately that concept can be forgotten by me on a more regular basis then it probably should be. God sent him who had NO sin...to be sin for us...so we could have a relationship with him! its a huge deal!! Im part of God's family, and totally completely in his hands, for him to lead me where ever he wants me to go. i really need to work on my relationship with him, theres nothing im more interested in right now than learning. i want to learn how i can be closer to him...and to share that bond with other believers...its such a cool thing to me that i have God in common with others : )

take this heart of mine, theres no doubt: Im in better hands now.

a goal

prayer...is really not a complicated thing. Its a awesome thing...to just be able to talk to God, thank him for things, bring your requests before him, etc. But heres what im noticing more so now, than in the past. Its so easy to just talk to God about me...and whats going on in my life. Sure i prayed for others, but i think that i unconsciously quickly move to whats going on with myself. Heh, that sounds so horrible, and selfish when i read through what i just wrote. So heres my goal: Im going to write down all of the prayer requests/praises Ive gotten from other people, or that Ive heard, and while i pray ill read through them, spending more time on them. once ive gone trough those things, then I can talk to God about whats going on with me. so heres to being a little less selfish in my prayers. I can talk to God when ever I want to...and thats something I need to take a little more advantage of.