This morning i got a call from my dad. My grandmom, whom we call "meme", wasn't breathing good and was on oxygen, but they hadn't moved her from the nursing home to the hospital because she had been slowly slipping away over the last few weeks. Later today i received a voicemail from my dad, telling me that she had passed away. Honestly i didn't have the biggest reaction, i felt sad, and really worried about my family and how they were taking the news. I didn't know what to say to my dad, and i had a million things running through my head. Over the last few years she had been slowly slipping away from us through her memory loss, and it was hard to go see her because she didn't even really know who we were anymore. this is the first time i have experienced a death in my family. I know she is in heaven, a much better place, and all I can do is praise God for that. I know that it probably was her time to go, and now she is completely healthy, not suffering at all. I know that she hasn't been around the last couple years because she was in a nursing home, so she hadn't been able to come to any family parties or get-togethers. But i knew that she was still here. Now she isn't. Thats a little hard to take in for me. I remember this one time when my whole family was over my house for a birthday party, and me, my sister and my cousin were doing gymnastic stuff in the living room and just goofing off, and she thought it was hilarious. I cant think of a time where i remember seeing her laugh so hard. Thats my favorite memory. Just the happiness i remember seeing in her face when she watched us roll over on our heads and fall all over the floor. My biggest concern now is just for my family at home, and just to keep praying for them as they go through the funeral. It is hard when certain things are thrown your way in life, and even harder if your not sure how to handle them. God is the strong tower in my life, whenever i need someone to talk to when i feel like no one else will understand, Hes there. I can't imagine going through some of the stuff(even the really little things) without God by my side. I realize even more through trials how important God really is in my life, and how much He desires my attention. I've taken the news pretty good all day until now...I just kinda broke down, worried about my family, and also for the loss of meme. I guess its because i have just been sitting here thinking about things...which usually hits me the hardest. I know im the type of person who needs to keep busy when i don't want to get upset about something...and ive been busy all day, but then again that just makes me ignore it. which probably isn't the best thing because it just builds things up. BUT like i said, when i face things, i know God is there to help me. thats one thing i know for sure, He will never let me down.
"For I am the Lord, your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." -Isaiah 41:13
